# Sussex Family Solutions

> Collaborative Solutions for Separating Families


## Posts

- [Richard Adams](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/team/richard-adams/): Collaborative Lawyer & Accredited Mediator
- [Kate West](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/team/kate-west/): Family Consultant
- [Jo O’Sullivan](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/team/jo-osullivan-2/): Collaborative Lawyer & Mediator
- [Leia Monsoon](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/team/leia-monsoon/): Family Consultant Individual & Couple Counsellor
- [Lynne Passmore](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/team/lynne-passmore/): Collaborative Lawyer & Mediator
- [Thomas Brownrigg](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/team/thomas-brownrigg/): Collaborative Lawyer & Mediator
- [Lisa Burton-Durham](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/team/lisa-burton-durham/): Collaborative Lawyer
- [Penny Coombes](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/team/penny-coombes/): Family Consultant Parenting after Parting Practitioner
- [Angus Willson](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/team/angus-willson/): Chartered Financial Planner
- [Julia Dyson](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/team/julia-dyson/): Collaborative Lawyer & Mediator
- [Simonne Gnessen](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/team/simonne-gnessen/): Financial Coach & Life Planner
- [Lauren Guy](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/team/lauren-guy/): Family Collaborative Lawyer Mediator
- [Gemma Hope](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/team/gemma-hope/): Collaborative Lawyer & Mediator
- [Julian Hunt](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/team/julian-hunt/): Collaborative Lawyer
- [Sarah Jelly](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/team/sarah-jelly/): Collaborative Lawyer & Mediator
- [Sue Knight](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/team/sue-knight/): Collaborative Lawyer & Mediator
- [Linda Lamb](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/team/linda-lamb/): Collaborative Lawyer & Mediator
- [Susan Regi](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/team/susan-regi/): Mediator
- [Sarah-Jane Riddell](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/team/sarah-jane-riddell/): Collaborative Lawyer & Mediator
- [Family Consultants Training](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/post/family-consultants-training/): Friday 30th September and Saturday 1st October 2022 10am -4pm Our 2 day training will help you understand what working as a Family Consultant involves.For those coming from a therapeutic or social work background our course is designed to focus on models and skills which support our work with separating and divorcing families and to help you understand the legal proces of divorce. For those coming from a legal background our course is designed to show you how to work with a Family Consultant, demystifying the role and helping you feel confident at introducing Family Consultant use to your clients. […]
- [CHILD INCLUSIVE MEDIATION (CIM)](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/post/child-inclusive-mediation-cim/): The pain and anxiety experienced by parents when their relationship breaks down is often compounded by concerns about the impact on their children. During a time of emotional distress, child inclusive mediation can help parents to keep their children’s needs at the forefront of their decision-making. The recommendation that all children aged 10 years and above should have their opinions heard was outlined in the ‘Voice of the Child’ report produced by the Dispute Resolution Advisory Group in 2015. Children have the right to see both parents, as long as it is safe for them to do so, and they […]
- [New Year New Beginnings](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/post/new-year-new-beginnings/): Changes to the Divorce Process in 2022 The government’s Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act 2020 was passed in June 2020 and will implement major reform to the divorce process, becoming law on 6 April of this year. Sussex Family Solutions have been active campaigners in the move toward no-fault divorce, successfully lobbying our local MP’s to support the legislation.  What is the legislation’s main reform? The Act will remove the concept of ‘fault’ in divorce proceedings – a welcome change to the divorce legislation that has not been amended in any significant way for over 50 years.  What is the […]
- [Family Mediation Week](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/uncategorized/family-mediation-week/): This week is national family mediation week – you can find out more about what is going on at www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk Here are some reasons why you may wish to consider using family mediation to work out your future arrangements Family mediation is a way for families to manage changes that arise when they decide that…
- [Defusing conflict with language ](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/uncategorized/defusing-conflict-with-language/): The words we use are important. As George Orwell once stated “the slovenliness of our language makes it easier for us to have foolish thoughts…if thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought.” Using language that is outdated, inappropriate or confrontational can have significant consequences when trying to resolve issues and find solutions as a result of divorce or separation. In family law, we need to move away from language that promotes conflict and leads to court proceedings, towards a language that puts the welfare of separating families first. The “What About Me?” report from the Family Solutions Group has […]
- [A Multidisciplinary Team](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/uncategorized/a-multidisciplinary-team/): By Penny Coombes Sussex Family Solutions set up over a decade ago.  It grew out of an idea that there must be a better way of helping separating couples through their relationship breakdown in a more non-adversarial way, and that if we pooled our experience and professional expertise, we could achieve better outcomes for people.  We coalesced around this central idea and Sussex Family Solutions was born.  We come from a range of different professional backgrounds and disciplines, and each of us also belongs to other teams or has our own professional practice too.  This is important because it means, […]
- [Hybrid Mediation Case Study](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/uncategorized/hybrid-mediation-case-study/): Catherine & Tom Catherine and Tom were a high conflict married couple who had already been separated for over a year when they instructed their lawyers. Tom was a high-earning lawyer working in the city and Catherine had stopped training as a teacher to care for their three children (one aged 13 and twins aged 11).  She had recently started studying again with a view to resurrecting her career as a primary school teacher. Tom had moved into a rented three bedroomed flat  and Catherine had remained living in the family home with the children. Catherine described  their relationship as  volatile and […]
- [Taking the Fear out of Divorce](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/uncategorized/taking-the-fear-out-of-divorce/): I have been working as a Family Consultant since 2011. I work with couples, families, individuals and at times children who have experienced a high level of conflict during the break down of a relationship. I work within and alongside legal frameworks, such as in mediations, collaborative processes or alongside the courts.  In my experience something that typically drives peoples conflict is fear. Fear of the future without the finances people are used to, fear of being alone at some level, fear of being seen as failing, fear of missing their children, fear at being out of control and fear […]
- [Lockdown Separation](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/uncategorized/lockdown-separation/): With Lockdown upon us, and people feeling trapped in marriages they want to leave, for us professionals in Family Law, now more than ever, is the time we are thinking of how to reduce adversity in our work with clients. Being stuck together with health worries, possibly financial worries too and no where to go to take our mind off these problems, must seem like a dry tinderbox for families in devastating conflict. If we approach the wrong practitioner, one who is only thinking of an hourly fee or ‘winning’ this can easily encourage a more positioned stance of what […]
- [Divorce and changes to the new State Pension](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/pensions/divorce-and-the-new-state-pension/): The switch to the new state pension in April 2016 brought some significant changes....
- [The role of a family consultant](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/family-consultant/the-role-of-a-family-consultant/): When people are dealing with difficult experiences, such as separation and divorce, it is often...
- [The collaborative process](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/uncategorized/the-collaborative-process/): The collaborative model requires a shared commitment to avoid litigation. The process involves a series...
- [So why consider Arbitration?](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/uncategorized/so-why-consider-arbitration/): If you have been unable to reach agreement then rather than having to go to court Family Law Arbitration run by the Institute of Family Law Arbitrators (IFLA) might be the solution. As with the court process, you end up with a legally binding agreement (“the Award”). So why consider Arbitration?                     Choice – you are involved in the choice of the Arbitrator ie the right person with the right experience to decide the issues in your case.                     Speed – the process is at a pace that suits you.                     Privacy – the “hearings” are conducted in private and […]
- [The Parenting Plan](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/uncategorized/the-parenting-plan/): The Parenting Plan [PDF 968k] is a written plan worked out between parents (and sometimes grandparents and other family members) after they separate. The Plan covers practical issues of parenting. • It asks you to think about your children and, based on their sex, ages and personalities, what they are likely to need. • A Parenting Plan must put the best interests of the child first. • A Parenting Plan sets out a shared commitment to your children and their future. The parenting plan was supplied by Cafcass. They are interested in your views about this Parenting Plan and the services that are available to you. We want […]
- [Institute for learning & brain sciences](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/uncategorized/institute-for-learning-brain-sciences/): Watch this video to see how disagreement is perceived and will affect even your 18 month year old child. Toddlers who overhear adults disagreeing can use that emotional information to guide their own behavior, according to research study from the Institute of Learning & Brain Sciences. This re-enactment of the experiment begins with a warm-up trial as an experimenter shows a toy to a 15-month-old boy and then he gets a chance to play with them. Then a second adult, the “Emoter,” enters the room. The experimenter shows her how to play with a toy, a strand of beads that […]
- [Why choose Arbitration?](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/uncategorized/why-choose-arbitration/): There are huge benefits to using an Arbitrator which include: • Continuity – Cases are heard by one person throughout the entire process which is something that can not always be guaranteed with the Court system. • Speed – Hearings are able to be fixed quicker and at a convenient time and place to suit the parties involved. • Process – the process and timetabling adopted in Arbitration can be specifically tailored to the issue(s) to be determined. • Flexibility – There are not the same rigid procedural rules as in Court proceedings meaning that there does not have to […]
- [How does the Collaborative model differ from the traditional Court process?](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/uncategorized/how-does-the-collaborative-model-differ-from-the-traditional-court-process/): • It will ensure that you and your spouse/partner have a voice and are in control of the process. If the Court is involved this can be dictated by a Judge. • By avoiding Court no evidence needs to be given. • You will benefit from the strength of two lawyers working together rather than in opposition to one another. • The process is confidential, whereas the Court process has been recently opened up to allow a media presence. • The process is very much a future-focused process and the aim is that you work with and not against your […]
- [Collaborative Law and the Family Consultant](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/uncategorized/collaborative-law-and-the-family-consultant-2/): Coming to the decision that you want to separate and divorce from your partner can be a difficult, life changing and unenviable position to be in, particularly if you have children together and you are agonising about how to prioritise their needs with your own – a situation that leaves many wondering which way to turn and how to go forward? Horror stories about painful court battles, uncontrollable legal costs and the unpredictability of the courts may leave you thinking that your family will suffer a similar fate, and that you will be left feeling you have no influence, or […]
- [Life is like riding a bicycle - Guest blog post](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/uncategorized/life-is-like-a-bicycle-to-keep-your-balance-you-have-to-keep-moving/): Apparently apart from more money and a long lie-in, what most people crave is more time. Lots of us have problems with our work-life balance. It’s a term that is heard more frequently now in relation to our busy lives and to our changing expectations but what if, for you, the work and the life part of that is one and the same – caring for someone else? How do you find balance then? Sometimes the greatest gift we can give ourselves is a little piece of time just for us. When we devote so much of our time to […]

## Pages

- [Financial Advice & Guidance](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/what-we-do/financial-advice-guidance/): Going through divorce or separation is a time when you have to face many financial decisions concerning your home, your children, your pension and managing your financial future. In Sussex Family Solutions, we have a team of financial experts who offer financial advice and guidance.  They are Independent Financial Advisers or Financial Coaches, who are experienced in helping clients plan for the future and understand the short and long term impact of different financial decisions. Traditionally Financial Advisers make recommendations on ways to best utilise your money, but in this role, they’re not providing any product recommendations; instead, their role is […]
- [Financial Coaching](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/what-we-do/financial-coaching/): Financial Coaching is designed to help clients build a better relationship with money and feel calmer, more in control and confident about their finances. Financial Coaches can work with you individually and as a couple. Unlike traditional financial advisers, financial coaches don’t make recommendations on specific financial products such as pensions, mortgages or ISAs. But they do have financial expertise and can provide you with information and support to guide you through the financial world. If you are going through separation or divorce a Financial Coach can help you to create your spending plan so that you are clear about […]
- [Parenting Workshops](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/what-we-do/parenting-workshops/): As parents, you may well be worried about how to tell your children you are going to part, how they will cope, or about how contact issues will be managed and resolved. Although your relationship has ended your role as parents has not.  It will continue for many years and under many different guises.  Parenting after parting is not the same as parenting together.  You become co-parents and it is essential for you to work together to minimise the impact on your children. Our team in Sussex Family Solutions can help with this, and have services aimed at supporting you […]
- [Children and young people’s support](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/what-we-do/children-and-young-peoples-support/): If you are worried about your children or feel that your child is struggling with the changes to your family and you feel they need some extra support, we are able to offer both Family work and Family therapy. Family work would typically involve meetings with different members of the family, in differing combinations. It can aid you to gain perspective, different views and feelings in regard to a particular issue, e.g. a disagreement about contact. It might include discussion, or observed contact, and is usually very concrete and task focused. Another option is to have you come to sessions […]
- [Coaching](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/what-we-do/coaching/): Coaching is a practice that helps people identify and achieve personal goals. It is a creative process which inspires the client to maximise their personal and professional potential.  Coaches help clients set and reach goals using a variety of tools and techniques. Coaching draws inspiration from disciplines including sociology, psychology, positive adult development, career counselling, Neuro Linguistic Programming, mentoring and other models. When you have difficult changes to make, coaching can help set goals and aims which can assist you through these times.  By asking questions a coach can help you gauge where you want to be in the future […]
- [Couples Counselling](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/what-we-do/couples-counselling/): Going to therapy as part of a couple in good times can be helpful, this is even truer in times of difficulty or change.  A lot can be gained by speaking freely and openly with an impartial person.  A therapist can help both people express more freely what they want to say to one another.   When you realise you are in trouble you often can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel and your difficulties may seem overwhelming.  It may make us turn to divorce as a way out of what appears to us as an impasse. Is this an […]
- [Individual Therapy](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/what-we-do/individual-therapy/): Talking your situation through with a qualified therapist can help you to see things with a fresh perspective. Your therapist will help you to identify where you are now and support you to clarify your wishes for the future.  A therapist can help you explore your experiences of life so far and help you to identify unhelpful patterns of behaviour. Fear of losing what has become familiar can become an enormous obstacle to your vision for your new future.  That might include; fear of losing your partner, spending less time with your children, losing shared friends, being on your own […]
- [Family Consultants](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/what-we-do/family-consultants/): Family Consultants can offer support before, during and after a separation. We work alongside you individually and jointly giving neutral therapeutic support. Our role provides an impartial ‘third- eye’ perspective. This additional viewpoint has been introduced to collaborative law to offer some key elements, that until now, lawyers on their own have struggled to provide. Firstly, the presence of a therapeutically trained professional offers mutually supportive emotional care for both clients. Our focus is not occupied with legal and financial matters, we are exclusively concerned with emotional wellbeing, and the psychological implications for all parties, particularly when there are children […]
- [Family Arbitration](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/what-we-do/family-arbitration/): At last there is an alternative to long, painful and expensive Court proceedings. Here at Sussex Family Solutions we realise that for one reason or another the issues that have to be resolved following a divorce or separation are not always resolved through mediation or the collaborative process, despite our best efforts, so what happens then? In the event of the failure of a Collaborative process clients have found themselves in the position of having to potentially instruct new Solicitors, and start Court proceedings. There are no fast-track routes in these circumstances, and clients often feel as though they are […]
- [Mediation](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/what-we-do/mediation/): What is mediation? An independent professional mediator can help to facilitate discussions between you as a neutral third party.  The mediator will assist you to identify the information which is necessary to enable you to make informed decisions, can help you to generate settlement options and reality test those options to identify the best solution for you both taking into account the individual circumstances of your family. If an outcome can be reached through mediation the mediator can draw this up for you into a Memorandum of Understanding which your individual lawyers can advise you on and convert into a […]
- [Legal Advice](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/what-we-do/legal-advice/): All of the lawyer members of Sussex Family Solutions are specialist and experienced family lawyers.  They are members of Resolution and adhere to their code of conduct to adopt a none-adversarial and future focused approach to every case. They are experienced in all aspects of family law and can also assist you in  deciding which process might be the best in your particular circumstances.  They are able to signpost you to other professionals in order that you might receive the appropriate support for every aspect of your case. Although committed to dispute resolution it is inevitable that in some cases it […]
- [Collaborative Law](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/what-we-do/collaborative-law/): The Collaborative Law process requires a shared commitment to avoid litigation. The process involves a series of informal discussions and joint meetings for the purposes of settling all issues known as “four way” meetings as they involve the couple and their Collaboratively trained lawyers. Each party and his or her lawyer will need to sign an agreement stating a mutual aim to reach a fair and equitable settlement and as importantly not to go to court other than with agreement and by consent. Why choose Collaborative Law? • You can focus on what is important to you and resolve matters […]
- [Upcoming Training Events](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/upcoming-training-events/): Family Consultants Training Friday 30th September and Saturday 1st October 2022 10am -4pm Our 2 day training will help you understand what working as a Family Consultant involves.For those coming from a therapeutic or social work background our course is designed to focus on models and skills which support our work with separating and divorcing families and to help you understand the legal proces of divorce. For those coming from a legal background our course is designed to show you how to work with a Family Consultant, demystifying the role and helping you feel confident at introducing Family Consultant use […]
- [Home](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/): What do we do? All of our team recognise and understand how difficult a relationship breakdown can be, but we all believe that there is a different way of helping people through that process.  We also recognise that couples who are separating don’t just need specialist legal advice, but also support to deal with the emotional consequences. Our Services We aim to provide the advice people need during a relationship breakdown and improve the process and outcome that affect people’s lives. Legal Advice All of the lawyer members of Sussex Family Solutions are specialist and experienced family lawyers.  Mediation An independent mediator can help to facilitate […]
- [What we do](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/what-we-do/): All of our team recognise and understand how difficult a relationship breakdown can be, but we all believe that there is a different way of helping people through that process. A way that does not involve the traditional way of fighting things out at Court. We also recognise that couples who are separating don’t just need specialist legal advice, but also support to deal with the emotional consequences. All our team are accredited, or affiliate members of ‘Resolution’ so you can be confident that we are all committed to a non-adversarial way to resolve your issues. Click on the links […]
- [Links](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/links/): Below are some links to external sites we think might be useful to you; Helpful Organisations Our Team Recommended Books For Parents Books for Children
- [Contact Us](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/contact-us/): Thank you for considering Sussex Family Solutions. If you have any questions or for further information about our group please email or phone us, or send us a message using the contact box below. Alternatively you can find our members’ contact details on our Team page if you would like to contact any of our members individually. E–mail: info@sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk As Sussex Family Solutions is an umbrella group for people working in different organisations it would be easier, if you would like to arrange a meeting with a combination of our members, to complete the contact form on this page, remembering […]
- [Our Team](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/our-team/): We are a group of professionals from different disciplines who are committed to helping separating couples through their relationship breakdown as painlessly as possible by working collaboratively
- [Blog Posts](https://www.sussexfamilysolutions.co.uk/blog-posts/): Blog Posts


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